How A Lack of Joy Leads to Overeating, Bingeing, and Food Noise
You wake up, and the first thing on your mind is breakfast.
Actually, you were thinking about breakfast before you even woke up this morning. You were fantasizing about it before you went to bed last night.
You get out of bed, brush your teeth, wash your face, and try to speed up the process so you can go eat breakfast. You're not eating anything special. It's just your typical meal.
But you can't wait.
As you're eating, you start thinking about the rest of your day.
What are you having for lunch?
What will you have for your afternoon snack?
What's for dinner?
Before you've even finished the meal in front of you, you're already looking forward to lunchtime.
The rest of your day feels like counting down the minutes until you can eat again.
And this is just normal for you. You don't know any other way.
You might think you just really like to eat. Or maybe you just don't like your job.
But what if it's actually deeper than that?
What if food has become one of the only reliable sources of pleasure in your life?
What if food is one of the only ways you know how to have fun, relax, or look forward to something?
What Does A Lack of Joy Look Like?
Joy is not the same thing as happiness.
Joy or pleasure means having things in your life that feel enjoyable, fulfilling, relaxing, exciting, or meaningful.
You don't have to be miserable to experience a lack of joy in your life.
You can be successful, productive, busy, and constantly checking things off your to-do list while still experiencing very little pleasure throughout your day.
A lack of joy can simply mean that you don't have regular moments or activities in your life whose sole purpose is to bring you joy or pleasure.
Signs you may be lacking joy
Your day revolves around work, responsibilities, errands, or obligations.
You rarely do things simply because you enjoy them.
Relaxing feels unproductive or uncomfortable.
You constantly feel like you're waiting for the next enjoyable thing.
Food is one of the few things you genuinely look forward to.
You feel bored or restless when you're not eating, working, or being productive.
the comfort food loop
Often, when there is a lack of joy in your life, food can become your main source of pleasure.
This can create a food-reward pattern.
When you have a hard or long day, you eat.
When you finish a stressful project or overwhelming task, you eat.
When you finally have time to relax, you eat.
Weekend activities revolve around food.
You find that many of the things you look forward to involve food or eating.
Food is not necessarily the problem. It may actually be the solution you're using to fill a major gap in your day-to-day life.
How Does Using Food for Pleasure Develop?
Two things must be present in order for food to become your main source of pleasure:
There is a steady lack of joy or pleasure in your life
There is a heightened feeling of pleasure or reward associated with food
Food can become overly pleasurable through many small experiences that accumulate over time.
For example:
Food was glorified when you were growing up
The main way you celebrate achievements or milestones is through food (going out to dinner, baking a special cake, or getting ice cream)
Food has been or is currently scarce or restricted
Food is viewed as something that needs to be earned rather than something you can have freely
Meal times are the only justified breaks in your day
When food consistently becomes associated with reward, celebration, relaxation, comfort, or escape, it can become a particularly powerful source of pleasure.
And when there aren't many other sources of pleasure in your life, food can start to carry even more weight.
How Does a Lack of Joy Influence Eating Behavior?
When joy is scarce, food becomes disproportionately rewarding.
Food is inherently pleasurable, and in modern society, food is highly accessible and provides an immediate source of reward.
Food can also offer breaks from your responsibilities. For example, lunch breaks or donuts in the break room are common ways food and relaxation are integrated.
When other sources of pleasure are limited food naturally becomes more important and exciting.
When other sources of pleasure are limited, food naturally becomes more important and exciting.
This can contribute to heightened food noise.
You may find yourself constantly thinking about what you're going to eat later, looking forward to your next meal or snack, or thinking about dessert the entire day.
You might be craving something even when you aren’t physically hungry.
You may feel like food is the best part of your day, whether your conscious of it or not.
How Does a lack of joy contribute to binge eating?
When a steady lack of pleasure when combined with a heightened sense of reward from food, it can contribute to binging and overeating.
Overeating and binge eating don't necessarily mean you are eating because your body needs more energy. Often times, eating is serving another purpose.
You may be using food to extend a pleasurable experience, escape, boredom, decompress after a stressful day, cope with (and avoid) difficult emotions, or simply give yourself something to look forward to.
This might be why when you start eating it feels impossible to stop.
You don't want the pleasure experience to end and you don't know when you'll get to experience that feeling again.
How Do You Stop Using Food as Your Only Source of Pleasure?
In order to stop, relying on food for pleasure you first need to address the core belief you are likely holding:
You have to earn joy.
Once you've addressed this you can start to add more sources of pleasure to your life.
This can look like scheduling in moments that are just for you; Not to be productive, check something off of a list, or make yourself healthier, but rather, something you would do regardless of any negative or positive outcomes from it.
This may look like:
Calling a friend
Taking a walk
Reading
Listening to music
Having a hobby
Going outside
Making time for your relationships
Creating a routine or ritual you genuinely look forward to
The goal isn't to replace food.
It is to allow food to be pleasurable while also making sure food isn't carrying the entire responsibility of making your life feel good.
Maybe you don't need more discipline, more distractions, or more food replacements.
Maybe you needs a life that contains more than just work, responsibilities, and eating.
If food is one of the only ways you consistently experience pleasure, it is going to be very hard to stop thinking about it, overeating, and relying on it for comfort.
This is exactly what I teach my clients through my 1:1 eating behavior coaching. If this article resonated with you, you can apply for a free 30 minute strategy session here.
If you gave your self more things to look forward to tomorrow, what would change about your relationship with food?
