What can you do when an urge to binge eat hits?
Food can sometimes act as a Band-Aid to a need that goes much deeper than food itself.
If you struggle with binge eating, you likely know how food can feel like the ultimate solution to just about anything: anger, overwhelm, boredom, loneliness.
It works so well because food does something really simple: it changes the way you feel. It can offer comfort, pleasure, distraction, or relief when something feels uncomfortable.
So if food has become your knee-jerk reaction to shift how you’re feeling, what can you do when an urge to eat hits?
Start by pausing.
Pausing allows you to notice what is actually happening so you can choose how to respond.
What’s really important about this step is that it gives you a little bit of space between the urge to eat and actually eating. This space gives you just enough time to determine what it is that you actually need.
But how do you know what you actually need?
The easiest place to start is with physical hunger. Determine whether you are physically hungry or not. You can ask yourself: “Do I feel hunger in my stomach? When was the last time I ate? Do I have space for food right now?”
The answers to these questions can help you determine if the urge is coming from a true need for food or if it’s coming from something else.
If you determine the urge is coming from a place other than physical hunger, try to explore the thoughts and emotions that are alongside the urge.
Is there a recurring thought you keep repeating in your mind like, “When will I get to eat this again?” or, “This tastes so good, I don’t want it to end”? Maybe you are feeling something else, like overwhelm, anxiety, or frustration, and instead of feeling these emotions, you are focused more on the urge.
If it is too difficult to determine thoughts or feelings outside of the urge, you can always simply focus on the urge itself. Instead of trying to determine what’s causing it, you can try to feel the urge, and then later reflect on what may have been causing it in that moment.
If you have tried other strategies like brushing your teeth, drinking low-calorie sodas, or scheduling in high-protein desserts to combat your urges, you may have realized these only work for so long. They are typically unsuccessful because they are only addressing the symptom: the urge or craving. They aren’t addressing what is underneath the urge: the thoughts and emotions.
This is why the following strategies are not the typical strategies used to stop binge eating. Rather than forcing you to stop eating, they are designed to give you what you are actually searching for.
But the key is determining what you are actually searching for in food. If you want a more detailed overview of how to decode your cravings, read this article: What is driving your eating patterns?
If you don’t uncover the core need first, you will just keep turning back to food over and over again.
For now, let’s talk about some strategies for overcoming the urge to binge eat.
1. Go Outside and Connect with Your Surroundings
When was the last time you went outside and really noticed nature?
We spend so much time on technology in our day-to-day life, it feels almost unnatural to connect with the natural world around us.
This is why going outside is actually a really strong tactic when an urge feels overwhelming.
Getting out in nature and reconnecting with something greater than you is extremely comforting. Going outside, feeling the fresh air, and feeling the actual earth beneath you can ground you in a way nothing else can.
It pulls you away from technology, the go-go-go routine, the endless to-do lists, and any expectations you have. It allows you to zoom out from whatever is happening in your head and reconnect with the world around you.
A common trigger for binge eating is feeling a lack of control. This was one I struggled with myself. Any time I felt like I couldn’t control the outcome of a situation, whether it was related to food or not, I would feel this strong pull to eat.
For example, I might get a text from a client wanting to reschedule our session to a time I’m already booked at. I start to feel overwhelmed and anxious about when we are going to make up the session, whether it’s going to be convenient, whether it’s going to land during an already busy week, and so on.
The situation might be relatively small, but if it triggers a thought that feels scary or overwhelming, like, “Why is this happening? It wasn’t supposed to go this way,” eating can be a way of escaping that.
In these moments, wanting to eat has nothing to do with hunger, and more to do with wanting to stop whatever uncomfortable thought or feeling is arising. Food is something that can change how you are feeling and avoid the discomfort and overwhelm of the current situation.
It may not always show up as an all-out binge, but maybe you start thinking about food out of nowhere. Maybe you start wondering how long it’s been since you last ate. Maybe you start convincing yourself you feel hungry, and you should eat something. Maybe you simply justify eating because you’re eating a “healthy snack”.
All of these thoughts and behaviors are connected back to one thing: the thoughts and feelings taking over your mind. So next time you feel an urge to eat when you know it isn’t from hunger, try stepping outside and paying attention to your surroundings.
Notice the temperature, the air against your skin, the sounds around you, or the earth beneath your feet. Give yourself a chance to step out of the mental spiral and see what changes.
2. Bring Your Attention Back to the Present
Stress and anxiety are two other common triggers for binge eating because they pull our attention to the future.
Stress and anxiety cause you to think about all the tasks you need to get done, what might go wrong, or how you might handle a problem that hasn’t even happened yet.
Being able to tune into the present moment can be really helpful when feeling these emotions because you can bring yourself back to the now.
One thing that brings me back into the present moment is petting animals. Because they are so in the moment themselves, I find it helps me do the same.
I have the luxury of having two very cuddly and loving cats. Their presence has become incredibly grounding for me when I begin to notice myself becoming overwhelmed or anxious.
Focusing on their soft fur, their warmth, and their excitement at getting attention brings me into the now. I can focus on something outside of the emotions and thoughts spiraling in my head, and recognize they don’t have to control me.
You don’t need cats for this strategy to work. You could pet your dog, listen to a favorite song, notice the sensations of taking a shower, or spend a few minutes talking to someone you care about.
This isn’t distracting yourself from an urge. This is practicing bringing yourself back to the present when you notice you’ve become caught up in your thoughts.
3. Move Your Body When You Feel Restless
Sometimes an urge doesn't just feel powerful. It feels energized, like you need to do something.
For me, I notice this most when I feel overwhelmed by my to-do list or when I don’t know where to start, whether it’s with work or a personal project. It’s even worse if my tasks require me to sit down at a desk to get them done, because I feel this intense need to get up and do something.
Eating can offer some relief because it is an action I can take right away. But when I actually stop and pay attention, I realize I’m not just experiencing an urge to eat. There is also restlessness, frustration, and a desire to release energy.
Going for a walk is my go-to during these types of urges. Instead of eating, I can redirect my energy into something that satisfies the need to take action.
It doesn’t require much motivation or prep, either. All I have to do is put my shoes on and go outside. The walking helps me clear my head, reconnect me to my body, and helps me determine what I actually need.
Sometimes I come back feeling more focused and ready to tackle the task I was avoiding. Other times, I realize I need to take a break or approach the situation differently.
The key here is figuring out what you actually need, rather than immediately reaching for food. Because food can satisfy hunger, but it can’t satisfy restlessness.
4. Sit With the Urge and Explore What’s Underneath It
This last one is arguably the most difficult because it requires facing the feeling instead of immediately trying to change it.
At the same time, sitting with the urge is a tool that is always available to you. You don’t need anything specific. It can be done anywhere and anytime; all you need is your body and a bit of time to notice what you are experiencing.
If you have a private place to practice this, like a bathroom or bedroom, that is ideal. But the great thing about this strategy is you can also do it at the dinner table, in the living room, or at the bar.
Follow these steps:
Locate the urge: Where do you feel it in your body?
Describe it to yourself: What does it feel like? Is it tight, buzzy, fluttery, prickly, hot, or cold?
Sit with it: Watch the intensity rise and fall. Notice how long it stays. Does it grow, move, fade, or stay the same?
Explore what’s underneath it: If it feels okay, notice any thoughts or emotions connected to it.
Most of the time, urges are connected to an emotion, a thought, or both. Exploring what is behind them can help you uncover core beliefs, hidden mindsets, and coping strategies you didn’t even know were present. By practicing this strategy, you become more familiar with your own patterns rather than assuming every urge has the same explanation.
Over time, you will begin to recognize recurring thoughts, common triggers, and coping patterns you haven’t noticed before.
The practice of experiencing an urge, getting curious about it, and making a conscious choice about what happens next will show that you can respond to an urge, rather than automatically reaching for food.
Understand the Urge, Not Just How to Stop It.
These four strategies can be helpful in different situations, because the thoughts, feelings, and needs that come up around food aren't always the same.
Sometimes you need presence, connection, or action. Other times you may need to just notice what’s happening and practice responding differently. And sometimes, you might need food too.
Trying to replace food with a mint, a piece of gum, or brushing your teeth might temporarily redirect your attention, but it doesn’t address what’s driving the urge in the first place. When you use a distraction to push an uncomfortable feeling away, you may miss an opportunity to understand what’s driving the pattern.
Finding strategies that address your needs underneath the urge is how you begin to make lasting change. And while the strategies that work for me may help you, they might not be what you need.
This is the work I do with my clients. We explore the thoughts and emotions behind their eating behaviors so they can begin to recognize their patterns and understand what’s actually driving them. From there, we build strategies around their specific needs, rather than simply trying to stop the urge or relying on what works for someone else.
I have plenty of strategies to share, but the real value comes from understanding why you need them in the first place.
So here is a challenge for you: The next time you feel an urge to eat arise, consider what you might actually be looking for. Take a moment to get curious about it before automatically reacting. What might you be feeling? What might you need?
You don’t need to have a single answer. Simply practice a new way of paying attention, and give yourself more options for what to do next.
